A letter to Sylvina

Meeting You last week had a tremendous effect on me.

Part of it was a sense of something missing, a feeling of loss,

Your energy and spirit made me realize that Im living in a cage, and I want to be free.

I feel this cage was built from years of denial and insecurity

Watching you that night, feeling your openness, and listening to your words sparked something inside of me.

I want to dance.

to break free.

I want to sing outloud and not realize people are watching.

that I was watching.

I want to read poetry and allow someone to read me.

I want to have fun for the sake of having fun and not just because Im getting old and its what we're told to do.

I want to write about a girl, and read it outloud.

I want to love romantically without holding back.

Your presence was so refreshing and the freedom you have is what i imagine ive been searching for.

When you left that night, there was a vacuum, and in this gap, i saw those things and that they've been missing within me for years, if ever I had them at all.

I felt a little nervous, like, "can she see this cage ive built around myself"

Will she think Im a lost cause.

you walked in and I saw a pretty face with a nice body, and I noticed you were alone

You sat a few seats away, and I started to watch from the corners of my eye

You had all these books and paper and pen. You were wearing headphones and singing and writing, and not caring.

after a few glances and shots back and forth, I found myself siting next to you and began to see so much more.

I noticed your legs and how they were crossed, the bruise on your left knee.

the curve of  your shoulders with faint tan lines running across.

your smooth complexion 

perfect mix of color.

The confidence in your smile

Comfort in your own skin

You were beautiful, emenating vibrations of a care free youth.

As if you held the key to everything in life remaining to be seen.

We started talking and I noticed your lovely accent and how comfortable you were sitting next to me.

you began reading a poem, and I could  feel the heat, a warmth coming from you

it was deep

you were so passionate.

You leaned a little closer, your emotions on display

it was beautiful, a care free nature void of anything missing, nothing lost

Realizing these things about you and feeling this warmth coming from you was difficult to process sitting there drinking at a bar.

Honestly, the last time I felt this level of attraction towards someone was a lifetime ago.

It was happening so fast

After noticing these things about you, and everything you were saying.

I could feel your peace inside of me, touching my soul as if that peace were now my own. 

In that moment I realized that every minute I spend with you will be one thats filled with my eternall gratitude