Learning to walk on paved roads again

I thought the hard part was over but I guess its always the mexican standoff in the end that fucks with me the most. I have started many great things but failed at them all because Ive never practiced shooting straight. I see that gun pointed at me in another dule for my dignity and i panic...I give up...im not a good shot...better to fight another fight...thats bullshit, im just lazy. Right now my drug habbit of shooting meth might be the worst thing about me which is saying allot for someone with so many problems but I feel the pressure of my opponents gun barreling down on me and my hand is shaking and its John wayne with a colt 45 standing opposite of me...Im in a dule and this time I care about winning. I have started more hobbies than I can list. I quit all of them before I completed the task..maybe not putting those final wings on a model airplane is insignifigant but the habbit of quiting things can kill you deader than an unfiltered cigarette ,choclate cake or mexican border whores on a Sunday. My hobbie today is being a better person to myself and doing the right thing is the 3 point shot i stand to make from mastering the art of a ball and hoop sport. The final thing on this journey of self repair is not giving up short of the complete job because in this game a small success is winning nothing at all. We are deadlocked in a stare and John wayne has sweat on his brow but my trigger finger is spazing out again. Maybe a body shot is better than nothing. For now Im just gonna keep starring and see what happens.