Shipwrecked and stranded with no ocean in sight

My name is Shawn and today Im an ungrateful pirate. I had a treasure chest of gold but didnt know the value of a buck. My treasure was my van and the misterious Island I seem to be stuck on is called 40 highway ,between sterling an blue ridge cut off. Its about a 2 mile stretch and I seem to be stuck on it. actually this is no fantasy tale or disney story. I just got out of jail and lost my van which had everything I own in it. Im down to one pair of shorts and one t shirt ,no shoes. I still have Heather ,my new companion of 2 weeks who im probably in love with, Im pretty sure that having her is why for the first time in more than a decade that Im happy as fuck for no good reason. WE made it three hours fresh out of jail before she got busted stealing toothpaste and they took her away. Ahhh there it is good ole reality ,a familiar sting. depression was something i was an expert at. Im fucking exhaused. Waking up is when the journey began...I didnt understand why I was happy and not planning my perfect death. This made less sense than santa claus in summer. Fuck the van man, I need answers, whats going on ,why am I not dead. This is the worse day a sucessful person could ever imagine. I smell gold ahead.
  Actually I smelled pussy. I was in a trance that I self exacted called a delusion.
  I was still wearing those flip flops that the jail gave me after they released Heather and I from jail for being spun out and naked in mcdonalds parking lot when I still had my van. I ran after the police car that was taking heather away as she screamed come get me out Boyfriend. She said boyfriend either cuz she didnt remember my name or she didnt think that i remembered our pact. We were faking it, our relationship that was. We agreed never to make sense and sprinting down noland road after her did not, so I decided to play on. I mean Hell, the money thay my friend from kentucky was wiring me was prolly enough to pay her bail or get my van out of impound so I could gp back to work to make the money for her. Whatever, I smelled pussy thats all. Heather was a...............................